Month: January 2019

Lately, I’ve been listening to an audiobook of The Book of Joy, which is based on interviews of the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. The section I just listened to addressed the role of suffering. The general theme was that suffering sets our joy in sharp relief, so that we may know joy. That is, we do not experience joy despite suffering, but because of it.

Meanwhile, I’ve read some stuff from Queer Theology, in particular their online magazine Spit & Spirit. In one column, Brian Gerald Murphy, the publisher, writes, “I am thankful to be queer….My experiences because of my sexual orientation profoundly shaped (and continue to shape) my life. They helped me to question my previously unquestioned beliefs. They brought me into contact with diverse people and opinions. And, perhaps most strikingly, they guided me deeper into the Christian faith.”

In physics, the principle of relativity dictates that any inertial reference frame is indistinguishable. That is, as long as your speed is constant, it doesn’t matter what that speed is. What you can feel is a change in speed. What you can see is a difference between two different reference frames. In a similar way, people can’t really feel their conditions, but can feel a change in their conditions. They can see how they compare to other people.

If a person has never experienced hardship, or setbacks, or challenges, it’s hard for them to really know joy. At the same time, it’s hard for them to really have empathy. I would say that by most measures, I’ve had a pretty easy life. In my career, I had to go through some setbacks, though, before I was toughened up enough to be really successful. If I had not worked in industry between MS and PhD, my math skills would probably be better, but I don’t know if I’d be able to handle the frequent rejection that is inherent to academia.

I also had to experience some pain in my personal life before I could really grow spiritually. Parenthood has a way of making you realize how little control you have over your life, and my wife’s illness has made me realize the limits of human knowledge and that there are unsolvable problems. Now, I can more readily appreciate the good things in my life, and can also empathize more with people who face challenges.

I think that’s part of what Brian Gerald Murphy was saying. When he had some experiences that did not match up with what he was taught or believed, he transitioned from a simple, shallow faith to a deep, complex relationship with God.

I’m almost done listening to an audiobook of The Book of Joy. It was written by Douglas Abrams based on a week-long interview of the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. I highly recommend it. They talk at length about Eight Pillars of Joy:

• Perspective
• Humility
• Humor
• Acceptance
• Forgiveness
• Gratitude
• Compassion
• Generosity

One theme that seems to run through the whole book, though, is service to others. The more self-focused your perspective, the more you work towards improving your own condition, the worse you feel. If on the other hand, you are focused on other people’s condition, and how you can help improve it, the more joy you find.

This makes sense to me from many angles. Certainly, volunteering at the Mission is a high point in my week. Although economists might tell you that the basic unit of society is the individual, anthropologists will tell you that it’s the tribe. Humans were made for connection, for mutual interdependence. Tribes only survive as long as each individual makes the well-being of the tribe and its members a higher priority than the well-being of the individual.

This theme pervades the Bible as well. All those rules in the Old Testament are fundamentally about ensuring that individuals don’t aggrandize themselves at the expense of their neighbors, however they might be defined. In the New Testament, service to others is emphasized again and again. :

²⁵ But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. ²⁶ It will not be so among you; but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant, ²⁷ and whoever wishes to be first among you must be your slave; ²⁸ just as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.”

Matthew 20:25-28

So the question to me, and to whoever might be reading this, is: How can we best serve others? Not to sacrifice just for the sake of sacrifice, but to get the most bang for the buck. Maybe not to affect the most people, but whatever we do, it should have an impact. Maybe I can’t bring about world peace, but I can help one person find peace. Maybe I can’t show love to the whole world, but I can show love to each person I encounter.

As I’ve said elsewhere, I’m working on figuring out a ministry to the LGBT community. Now, there is danger in being an open ally, but that danger is nothing compared to the danger that someone who is openly gay or openly transgender faces. So rather than worry about my reputation or whatever, I should keep my focus on how I can share God’s love with people who have been abandoned and ostracized, and have a real positive impact on individual’s lives.

What is your calling? How are you called to service? And what are you prepared to sacrifice in service to others?

³⁴ He called the crowd with his disciples, and said to them, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. ³⁵ For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel,^[i will save it. ³⁶ For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life? ³⁷ Indeed, what can they give in return for their life? 

Mark 8:34-37