Lately, I’ve been listening to an audiobook of The Book of Joy, which is based on interviews of the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. The section I just listened to addressed the role of suffering. The general theme was that suffering sets our joy in sharp relief, so that we may know joy. That is, we do not experience joy despite suffering, but because of it.
Meanwhile, I’ve read some stuff from Queer Theology, in particular their online magazine Spit & Spirit. In one column, Brian Gerald Murphy, the publisher, writes, “I am thankful to be queer….My experiences because of my sexual orientation profoundly shaped (and continue to shape) my life. They helped me to question my previously unquestioned beliefs. They brought me into contact with diverse people and opinions. And, perhaps most strikingly, they guided me deeper into the Christian faith.”
In physics, the principle of relativity dictates that any inertial reference frame is indistinguishable. That is, as long as your speed is constant, it doesn’t matter what that speed is. What you can feel is a change in speed. What you can see is a difference between two different reference frames. In a similar way, people can’t really feel their conditions, but can feel a change in their conditions. They can see how they compare to other people.
If a person has never experienced hardship, or setbacks, or challenges, it’s hard for them to really know joy. At the same time, it’s hard for them to really have empathy. I would say that by most measures, I’ve had a pretty easy life. In my career, I had to go through some setbacks, though, before I was toughened up enough to be really successful. If I had not worked in industry between MS and PhD, my math skills would probably be better, but I don’t know if I’d be able to handle the frequent rejection that is inherent to academia.
I also had to experience some pain in my personal life before I could really grow spiritually. Parenthood has a way of making you realize how little control you have over your life, and my wife’s illness has made me realize the limits of human knowledge and that there are unsolvable problems. Now, I can more readily appreciate the good things in my life, and can also empathize more with people who face challenges.
I think that’s part of what Brian Gerald Murphy was saying. When he had some experiences that did not match up with what he was taught or believed, he transitioned from a simple, shallow faith to a deep, complex relationship with God.