God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them. 17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness on the day of judgment, because as he is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.
1 John 4:16b-18
This is ground I’ve covered before, but was brought to mind again this week. This past fall, I bought a Monk Manual. It’s like a planner, but with differences that are intended to emphasize the skills of being and doing that are exemplified by monastic living. Its creator, Steven Lawson, recently started a 30-day course intended to move you towards greater fullness of life. The topic for Day 28 was “Fear vs Love.”
Here’s what I took from the lesson (which is pretty short—feel free to check it out). Every choice we make, every action we take, is driven ultimately by fear, love, or some combination. Only love is life-giving. Only love leads to greater fullness. As John wrote, God is love, so when we act from a place of love, we have the possibility of connecting to God.
We had a great discussion about it at Common Call also. The key concept I took from it was that there are surface emotions—happiness, sadness, anger, and so forth—that reflect some deep-seated love or fear.
In many cases, our underlying motives are some combination. For example, I go to work daily. Why? Lots of reasons: duty; money; interacting with students, faculty, and staff; doing research; achieving prominence in my field and on campus; etc. Some of these trace back to fear. If I don’t make money, I can’t provide for my family, can’t continue to live as I currently do, etc. Maybe I seek prominence because I’m afraid I’m not good enough (impostor syndrome).
But maybe I go to work out of a place of love. Maybe I like interacting with students because I want them to become more complete humans, more complete engineers. Maybe I do research because I love new knowledge, or love the process (the reading, the thinking, writing code, fiddling in the lab).
The truth is, the real reasons are all of these, and more. Whichever reason I focus on, though, takes on more significant meaning. As Peter Gibbons, the protagonist of Office Space, said, fear will make you work just hard enough not to get fired. If that’s all I thought about, I would do the minimum, and be miserable like he was. If instead I focus on the reasons that come from a place of love, the fears will fall away, and I will become more like the person God wants me to be.
The other day, I had a conversation about the possibility of turning our church into a More Light congregation, that is, publicly adopting a statement that affirms the place of LGBTQ individuals in our church and in God’s kingdom. There are two ways to look at it. On the one hand, our congregation is slowly shrinking due to the age of the members. There is certainly fear that our best days are behind us and we will someday need to close the doors. This fear drives a lot of the discussions about evangelism: will such-and-such activity, program, or message bring more people into the church so we can grow again? Maybe becoming More Light would drive some people away; maybe it would draw others in. Which do we fear more: losing people we have, or dying through attrition? These fears can totally paralyze our decision-making process.
On the other hand, I firmly believe that all people belong in God’s kingdom, and that people who are connected to a church find more and deeper joy. I believe that there are many people in our community who need to hear the message that God loves them for who they are—regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. I believe that there are others who need to hear the message that God is love, not judgment. Whether or not any of them ever enter our church building is beside the point. I would like us to become More Light as a statement of love for our neighbors, praying that this love, and God’s love, would cast out all fears.
Any action can have multiple motivations, some of them based in love, some of them based in fear. Choose love.