This Holy Saturday, I’m once again thinking about liminal times. This is the day that we recount in the Apostles’ Creed when we say, “He descended into hell.” This is the day we remember the already-but-not-yet nature of salvation. Jesus has died for our sins and will conquer death. In fact, he already has, but we cannot experience God’s kin-dom fully just yet, only in part.
Everything is temporary. The only thing constant is change. Making predictions is hard, especially about the future. However you say it, the fact is that the future is unknown and unknowable. We dwell in this time and space where something good or bad will happen soon, but we don’t know what or when.
Our church currently has no installed pastor. We are in an in-between space, where we don’t know what the future will hold for us. How long will our current situation last? I preach twice monthly, Susan Murray and Rev. Bob Morrison preach once monthly, and we have other fill-ins; our session is moderated by a pastor who is installed at a different church; our various committees are operating under lay leadership. This operating regime is working for now, but will the situation be resolved in six months, two years, or never? What kind of new ministry might we undertake, either before or after we get a new installed pastor?
Our campus leadership is constantly in flux—less so now than in the past, but we still have a lot of people in interim roles. My department has an interim chair, as do several others around campus. The campus has three dean positions; one (mine) is stepping down at the end of the fiscal year, one is interim, and the other is a new position that has not yet been filled. I’m currently on one of the dean search committees, as well as two other search committees.
An opportunity may be presenting itself to me. Our dean (who is stepping down soon) is in the process of opening an internal search for a permanent department chair to replace my department’s interim chair. I am almost certain to apply, in no small part because several people have encouraged me to do so. But the position has not actually been opened yet. Assuming it is opened and I apply, will I be interviewed? Will I get an offer, and if so, will it be acceptable? I can do some things now to prepare, but ultimately, there’s nothing I can do to rush the process. I have to sit in this liminal time, this in-between time.
Today, I’m feeling the waiting acutely for another reason. I’m the chair of a committee on campus. The UM System rules changed, so my committee (meaning me) drafted a policy to implement the rules on our campus. The policy has been circulated for comment. Most of the comments were negative; some were pretty emotional. I believe the anger resulted from a misunderstanding. We have a meeting on Monday where I’m going to present the policy and the reasoning. I have shared a bit with a friend of mine who, because of his background and position, could become a strong ally or a strong opponent. Of course I believe that I’m in the right, so I expect the former, but friendship aside, I could be wrong and he could turn out to be an opponent. I just don’t know, and whatever his response is today, I can’t know until Monday’s meeting. I have to live in that space of not knowing.
The message of Easter is this: in the end, life wins. Love wins. God wins. We can’t know the future, but we do know that God loves us and will always care for us. If things go sideways on Monday, or our church ultimately fails, that doesn’t change the fact that I am beloved by God and that in the end, all will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.