Published in the Phelps County Focus on February 13, 2025. Here’s a teaser!
I like steak. Medium-rare, some salt and pepper, maybe some butter. Usually, a ribeye or New York strip. Occasionally with grilled onions or roasted garlic to complement the flavor.
But when I was a kid, I didn’t like steak at all. Some cuts are too tough. You need to cut around the bone, fat, and gristle, and you also need to cut it into small enough bites. A bad cook can ruin a good steak, and even when cooked properly, there are parts that are chewy.
So instead, I ate hot dogs. Hot dogs are easy. No utensils needed. Every bite is exactly the same. If you’re in a hurry, you can even microwave a hot dog in less than a minute. Just don’t ask too many questions about what’s in it—bits and pieces from every part of the animal, all ground up and mushed together to make something tasty and vaguely meat-like.
As I grew up, a plain hot dog became less and less satisfying. To compensate, I piled on the toppings: ketchup (but definitely not in Chicago!), onions, relish, hot peppers. Other people pile on sauerkraut, chili, or cheese. The options are limitless. If you do it right, you can barely tell there’s a hot dog underneath all the toppings!
Some people treat the Bible in the same way. They….